Anywho struggling to move around my room that's a mess -__- I made my way to find clothes and got ready. My sister and I made so much racket that my mother woke up and just looked at us and said WHY? I felt like laughing and I think I did, my sister is the shopaholic and a cheapass. Black Friday is like Jesus comming to visit for Christians. She was estactic about it and I don't blame her. I had a wishlist I wanted to come true today. This wishlist is the materialistic stuff I want.
1. Headphones.
I've been without earphones for maybe about 2 months because I go through them like water so I've decided to put an investment in headphones. I've been awfully sad without them as well, but I'm estatic that I have them now :]
2. Jacket.
I just want one.
3. Bookbag
I have this Northface strap bookbag and it's great but it's way to small to hold all the things my teachers give me.
4. Traditional and Digital Camera
I love photography and I'm tired of my sister's camera that sucks ass -___-
5. Mixtape or CD
This I just want from someone, shit even a stranger. I don't know but I think if you do anything for anyone there is a romantic connotation on it.
I don't really ask for much.
I got 2 out of these five things. The most important one Headphones! I bought them at BestBuy and I saw my ex lover Harold. I was not expecting that what so ever. Kinda of shy and awkard we said hi and my mother loved him and hoped we would work out so she left us alone to talk. He was covering his face half of the time, but he was still handsome as always despite what he was wearing. I was like GR! I had this mark on my face and I was way to sleepy to really function. The whole time I'm like great he gets to see me like this -___-
So much was going through my mind, I wanted to ask why did we stop being together? I needed to know but BestBuy didn't seem like the place to ask. I was full of this weird feeling, like I just wanted to touch him and see if my hand would go through. It seems so unreal, I haven't seen him since the end of September or was it the beginning of October. I don't remember, but it's been a while. We've had a few conversations that felt me confused on where we stand but the distance between us was still growing till we just didn't talk to each other anymore. I was sad for a while, resorted to another to get over you and it did help. I will admit to missing the little things you did. The affection in your words were the first of its kind to my ears. I remember you fondly and despite how we ended things so abruptly with no real explanation that I believe.
After this BestBuy incident my mother keep nagging me about him. Saying I should call him, that I should invite him over like I used to... That I should do this and that to get him back. Skeptical while she was saying all this nonsense. I don't do that, if you want to leave by all means I won't stand in your way. There are reasons why people feel like they should leave, and I'm in no right to make anyone stay if they don't want to. I can ask you to stay but if you don't, I'll wish you the best and move on and let you live. I have never been a clinger. I laughed in my mothers remark about how to keep a man and how they want you to chase them. I don't disagree completely about the chase, who doesn't like the chase? That is what I live for and maybe that explains why I get distant.
We later went to QCM and shopped around saw my Edward Cullen look alike. So after seeing Twilight there is a scene in the movie when Edward takes Bella to prom. Given that I'm a senior now, I'll be going to prom and I joked about taking an Edward look alike to prom. My 2nd wife Dominique agreed completely with me and told her boyfriend John. John apparently knows an Edward look alike that goes to his school. I was joking and said you should introduce wink wink ;] He took it seriously and then I was actually taking it into consideration and I was like why not? I'll probably play nice with the fellow, and so John has been talking to the Edward look alike about me and vice versa about him. So I saw him in Pac Sun, I wanted to walk out of the store immediately after I realized that he was there, but my sister had other plans. She wanted to see who was this guy, I wanting to hide in a corner. I looked so tired, my eyes were puffy I was in no conditions to meet someone. Not that I need to impress the fellow, but I was not going to meet someone in the mood I was. But dragged by my younger sister, we walked past him and she's like OMG his cute. I'm like no need for that I have eyes you know. I realize that, sheesh. I told John that I saw him, and John told him I saw him. I was like GR John! But it's whatever, John is planning to introduce me when I go to their winter concert. So we'll see how that goes.
I spent all morning shopping till night time when I went to Dominique's house to go help her get ready to go to the underground band gig Brandon (her friend) is performing in. I was ready by the time she told me to be, we were suppose to be there at 9:30 we left at that time. It was around Grand Central, Brandon words "it's a hole in the wall". We had to pay 10 bucks and I got an X marked on my hand. We go there late but we only missed two songs, it was around 10 something when we got there. Brandon's band wasn't bad at all, his facial expressions were hilarious. He was so into the music, I couldn't help but be idk but it was a vibe. The place where it was held wasn't my scene not that I have one, but if I did I know it wouldn't be that one. We were the only minorities there, and we didn't dress like they did. You could tell we didn't belong here, but I didn't care I loved the throbbing speakers, the noise was so hyptonizing. I honestly felt like the music flowed in and out of me. It attached itself to my skin. The scretching voices of the singers and the slamming of drum sticks were all around me. Never had I felt so intune with the music. Maybe it was because I by myself for a while, I was really absorbing the music, and the fact it wasn't my scene. The disturbing background maybe made things seem so surreal. Maybe the glances made me much aware. There was so much passion radiating from the stage and I couldn't help but be transfixed. I imagined myself being there, how would it be. I don't really sing, but when I want to I can actually pull off a good note or two. I just wanted to feel what was so present in the eyes of those on stage. I miss the stage. It was nice to be in a surrounding that was so different from my own, that it was uncomfortable it was just so new for me. I thought it was a perfect way to spend the night before my birthday. To spend it in a place that was completely different from my comfort zone, that the age of seventeen would bring a transistion to who knows but somewhere I don't know.
I had a great time, spent the first hour of my birthday around Grand Centeral. Took pictures, jumped on people, it was priceless.
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