GO GREEN!

I feel like dropping humans like you drop litter on the floor

You see it everyday

Everyone does it

And its considered normal

But now everyone is like GO GREEN

And everyone is saving their trash

So idk what to do with the litter I've collected

They just seem to stash up

Got them from all corners of NYC

With different backgrounds

All of them I share a history with

A great story of past laughs, cries, smiles, fights, and moans

I just cling onto what they once meant to me

And their good kids who just had a few rough edges

That I used to like dealing with

But at one point those edges cut, and I let go in all senses

But kept the memory, and now my trash

Was at one point my treasure

And I wish I could keep all of them

But that's selfish and unfair to me cause you cause me harm

Sometimes friendships and relationships don't last

Sometimes things don't end up how you thought they would

But this garbage bag your bragging around you isn't helping you

Cause this pile up of memories are dragging me down

And sometimes you can't reach an exit

And in this case it would be a garbage can

So the only way to deal with it is sometimes to walk away from it

Leave it and just move on

- Palaguachi

A Hollywood Romance

You and I are staring in a low budget film
An A class actress starting with a rookie in this game
Your experience doesn't gain you access to me
But yet you still got the part in this play
Seems you blinded the director with your witty charm & remarks
But you see I've dealt with your type before
This is just another run around the same base in which my common sense knows all to well
And now we're the leading roles in a reality show that has gone all wrong
The director has played match maker and now
We end up together, so now we're faking romance scenes
Hollywood has poisoned your idea of love, and you confused it with lust
You think just case we share hot scenes on set will change what we are to each other
Don't confuse this movie with real life
Cause in reality we're not anything to each other
We go our seperate ways in the end of the day like any other
I don't even know your last name and you want to give me yours
The rookie who belongs to everyone
While I'm the cynical one who's trying to investigate the outer limits of herself
To see if a certain individual exists that can offer some type of attraction that will show me what I've missed
While your the lover of all
Got girls chasing you before you were even born
Shit I'll admit you can retain my attention
But between that moment it only took a second to make me realize
What game you play
And even though I've been down that monopoly road
And I thought to myself, FUCK IT I've been there before so
I took the dice and declared it was my turn
So I rolled something lucky
And ended up with you
The one who claims love after touch
You see your still young for me,
And although the forehead kisses and back alley kissing
Were good, cause I've never had those before
The first to show me some real hollywood romance
But it was just to hollywood for me
And yet I couldn't leave
Until the actors in us got the best of us in this game we were playing
Cause your known to play victim while I'm the bad guy
When we know I don't have the heart for it but I do have the skill doesn't mean I will
But your ego kept deceiving you
You know we only did what each other deserved
Being a victim at this point of the game
Wasn't smart love cause that just proves how I got to you
You won't' find me being a victim cause then that means you hurt me
And that's not the case
I never got attached
You see my heart is made of steel
And sure Its been knocked on several times
And some of those knocks knocked me out for a while
But not enough to leave a bent or mark
And your no different darling
You think you star in this
When in fact your just a temp
While I search for my leading role
Cause your not that material for me
And as much as I may care, I know better
Than to be deceived by that crooked smile that captured me at first
Plus I think the other girls that roam you left to right
Should have their turn with you
Cause I had my fun and it was worth it for a while
But time was something we didn't have for each other
No scratch that, time is what you didn't have for me
Cause there was no us
We never established a relationship, it was all a hollywood romance
Just a boy I called my friend in the end of the day
Who I occasionally hit it off as lovers
But anything more was out of the question
And even though I wouldn't mind exchanging kisses under sheets
I want something more than that of the physical
You were not enough for me in that department anyways
You couldn't reach inside me
You couldn't stay along beside me
You didn't remain
And I didn't like you that way
I stayed cause of obligation and need
Those two things should never be combine
And that was what happened
I got caught in between those two
- Palaguachi

Not directed to anyone. I just liked the Hollywood theme.

Palaguachi’s Fourteen Points

These are the fourteen qualities that I like in men :]

And it would help if that person looked like this ;]

1. Sense of humor
2. Intelligent/Curious
3. Diverse/ Cultured
4. Adventurous/ Risk-taker
5. Charming/ Exciting
6. Passionate/ Competitive
7. Non-judgmental
8. Patient/Compassionate
9. Honest/ Sincere
10. Humble/ Modest
11. Kind-hearted/Affectionate
12. Bold/Aggressive
13. Flexible/ Spontaneous
14. Self-respect for themselves & others

Questioning You.

Every moment that passes by there are minds, emotions, thoughts, and bodies used and abused And its victims are usually the youth, and I take part of this group
Even though age is just a temporary state
From my own personal experience I know this is true
I see every time I roam my school’s hallways trying to get into class
I see the students who are oppressed my their own teachers
Telling them they can’t make it
Or when those students prove the stereotypes of us minorities with their reckless actions
But you can blame them; most of us don’t any better
And we’re striving for other means of success
Not of the intellect but of accomplishing our own selfish needs
To be human is to be selfish, that’s what Thomas Hobbes said
It’s our own selfish desire that will be our demise
This desire, our eagerness to feel ecstasy or adrenaline or just simply feel
Makes the best of us act on instinct rather than judgment
It’s addictive to the point where it blocks out our reasoning and morals
It intoxicates us into a state of mind in which we just don’t care
We just want to reek in feeling
Why is it that we’re compelled to feel?
It’s like engraved in our genetic code
Humans must feel in order to be satisfied
And to be satisfied you have to reach your limit
But you only discover your limit once you have passed it
So who is to determine this for you?
Cause once you past your limit you’ve entered the boundaries of what’s right and wrong
And passing that limit tend to mean your doing the wrong thing
Our definition of what’s right and wrong differs for all the masses
So why do we allow society to advise us about morality?
When we don’t believe it is just for us
Since when did majority rule mean that’s the right choice?
This has got me thinking
Cause you’re the first to raise your hand
When it comes to judging me
Seems like where you lacked in academics you picked up in morals
Questioning whether or not my moral compass has broken
I’ll save you from trying to save me
Your words do not know the depth of my decisions
What you have observed is what you wanted to observe, not the truth
And then there comes another thing to question
What is the TRUTH?
Who defines it?
Who tells it?
And finally who decides on it?
I know my truth, can you honestly tell me you know mine?
Last time I remember you weren’t so far behind on my path of sin
That’s what you call my life right
And I don’t mind cause I’ve never claimed the title of a saint
And I will proudly hold myself to my mistakes
Cause unlike you I’m not afraid to live

To be continued…

A Moving Attraction.

Yikes! This piece I wrote a while back. But it's going to be revised and all that good stuff :]



Bascially the topic is about how people don't have the guts to engage in small talk or even a full blown conversation with someone they find attractive. I don't really know about the rest of the masses but when I see someone that I find attractive I usually keep it moving. We lock eyes, we walk a tad slower, and we past each other and there goes the guy who could've been my soulmate. Hence the explanation for the title "A Moving Attraction"

This irritates me time and time again *sigh* In this fast pace city you would think we could set time to get to know a stranger afterall we all were strangers at one point. New York City the fashion captiol of the world, contains so many lovely faces. Whether or not you have actually seen someone attractive in this jungle gym of people is up to interpetation. If you haven't well I feel sorry for you, cause New York City is full of beautiful people as well as alot of ugly. However, we tend to stray our eyes to things that are appealing. I always find someone attractive on the train, guess I'm just lucky. I do plead guilty of not engaging in small talk with strangers, cause I have pride and tend to be shy on occasion. I have the guts to do alot of things but when it comes to things of romance I usually shy away.

For instance, haven't you ever locked eyes with this one person, whether its on the train or street doesn't matter. But both of you know that you find each other attractive, yet do nothing about it. And what gets to me more, the irony in the situation is how once you two realize that you've been looking/starring at each other for a while. Both or one always turns away, because their either ashamed and a million thoughts/questions run through their heads. Like damn did I stare to hard or to long? What if that person thinks I'm a weirdo? Or do they think i'm cute/pretty/handsome/goregous/beautiful/adorable/good looking/sexy and all that other good stuff.

Insecurity reaks through these two people who just excahnge a glance. Like their both trying to look at each other again and again without getting caught, like its a cat && mouse game but just with the eyes. These two people are apparently attracted to each other, but neither has the guts to talk to on another which is sad. The question now is, they've already shared a glance isn't that enought to start a romance? Come on, we see this shit happen all the time in the movies. The perfect love stories happen with just sharing a glance.

If your starring at me, I would hope its cause I'm pretty or something, cause if any other reason would be terrible lolEven though I'm pointing out to those who don't talk to those individuals that your attracted to. I do the same, I'm not even going to front about that. You don't know me, but I have a great deal of pride. I won't talk to you if you dont' talk to me first. I'll talk to you first if its like an IMPULSE, that i MUST TALK TO YOU. If not then i can live without. Talk to me, i'll talk back, perhaps even try to keep the converstation going. I have started conversations with random strangers on the train and on the streets. I don't think its a good idea, but i choose wisely. The ones i usually talk to are artists, musicians, photographers, architects, protestors, people that fit in those caterogies. I always learn something from them, whether or not its a whole train train converstation or just a 5 minute one, you get something from anything you do. These individuals were usually older men, who thought I was like beyond legal. I wish but, everything in its due time right?There are many scenerio's that deal with this whole concept.

Imagine you see this really goregous person on the train once and all of what i just explained happened between the two of you. The cat && mouse game with the eyes and all the insecurity. And then that person gets off the train or crosses the street. Never to be seen again, chances are that you'll never see this person again.But if you ever do again see that person, there's a look of recogniztion on their faces, a type of dumb look, the face that has written all over it "Do I know you from somewhere?' or "You look familiar, but i just can't put my finger where I know you from." But when you realize where you know this person you kind of smile to yourself and keep it to yourself?!?!?!?

Still you do nothing?


WTF! are we/ you waiting for! Another god knows when to see this perfect stranger that lives in a city of 294713850932745037809583049 people!Why is it that people don't go after what they want? And when they do they have fear or their to late?Its the sad truth of our day. Just thought I would share that with you guys cause its been bugging me lately

Tell me what you think, If you care to [=

Mind-Set

Life as of right now
Is going pretty smooth, can't complain to something that hasn't gone wrong yet
&& of course theres speed bumps in this highway called life
But my ride got brand new shocks
Let’s say, am prepared to take things with open arms
&& it seems that lately there has been a something that has caught my eye
And when I see something I want
And this something wants me too
It’s the start of something with potential
And I think I like this but I don't want to like this
Cause I’m guilty of mixing lust && reason together
So what should I do?
When all the time in the world is slipping through my hands,
This won't mean a thing come tomorrow I know and
That’s exactly how I want it to be or at least that's what I make it seem
And while I do this my brain gets more wired
Like storm clouds and sunny days
Like iced tea and hot coffee
Been through too many ups & downs
Finally staying on the ground && not in the clouds
And there's this one song
That stays in my head... all day.
But I kind of want it to stay.

- Palaguachi

P.S. This is an old that has been re-visited and re-vised :]

Classic Case.

You’re a classic case of insecurity
Afraid of them seeing what lies behind all those fabrications you’ve created to belong
Concerned on what others think and not paying attention to your own thoughts
Your mind is racing and is so attentive but not towards yourself
But the crowd fluttering around you, and your mind is to busy assuming the worse love
Until your insides start acting up, your body always betrays you
Cause your body knows better than your mind at this point
And your other is taking over; the side that wants indulge in its own desires
So now the fighting is beginning once again
Your at constant battle with yourself
The good and bad plague you, and its noticed cause its marked against your skin
Their all a part of her yet she still tries to fight it
She doesn’t realize she’ll only win when she embraces all her sides
But her mind isn’t on winning but rather surviving this battle
That has been going on since her silent moments of childhood that you kept yourself tormented
You never realized silly girl that your own salvation is yourself
No other could save you from the abyss of your dark mind
But you were too demanding to see that
To busy blaming & scheming
So much resentment for what you didn’t understand
And your to lovely to have such thoughts in your head
And when you hear her thoughts spoken it’s as if passion takes a form in her voice
But behind every word lurks her bitter side
The anger, resentment, sadness, and loneliness she holds on to
Since she has nothing else to
All contradicting emotions linger by her side
And reek out onto her words which start off heated with passion then cooled down by her softness
She learned how to make her words become soothing and inspiring
And many seek her for her words
So young and hardly experienced to be capable of giving advice yet she’s fit for the job
Her advice is based on all the factors not her opinion
Your wisdom comes not from your own experience
But of those who tell their tale to you
Their stories made you live, their pain was your own
As well as their sorrow, happiness, anger, and thoughts
You absorbed it all, took it all in to save them
What a mistake it was to burden yourself with their skeletons when you haven’t gotten rid of yours yet
That’s how you know she’s losing her battle
But like you were never about winning
You were only about surviving and feeling
Considered the valiant one for choosing to encounter your evils
Your no coward but you are a fool
For absorbing what you don’t need, but its isn’t just the redundant experience that entertains you
It’s the thrill of the consequence, the aftermath of your action that pulls you in
It is what marvels you enough to commit sin after sin
This is when your other kicks in and takes over
While you suffer from guilt of indulging, you redeem yourself by helping others
It’s been engraved in your nervous system; it’s a part of you
Countless times people tried to pull you away from that, and try to save you
But they could never, if you always end up saving them in the end
So many failed attempts due to their lack of understanding you
My heart aches for you darling
How can you expect anyone to understand your internal war that you go through alone?
And you still have the strength to fight other people’s demons as well as your own
I admire you entirely and its sad to know that
You’ve settled for giving herself till there is no more
So she won’t have to feel this anymore
She wants to give it all away so she doesn’t have to be with it anymore
This aching hole that lingers in her chest that pulls and tugs at her
She won’t accept your charity of emotions
So brainwashed to not be loved
You who have taken many male companions but none understood you
Not the way you wanted them to
They never truly saw you for you
They never noticed you
The things that made you, you
Like the way you would speak to them
In a husky light soft tone, she would whisper sweet comforts
Always lovely were those words exchanged between lovers
But over times the richness in your voice has faded
What happened did you get tired of fighting against yourself?
Did time and life worn you down finally?
You were but a child when the world made you all grown up now
Nonetheless you hung on to your innocence
Although you mask yourself with your witty remarks and comments
One can tell your tired of holding onto ideals of good things
When all that surrounds you isn’t
Those fire eyes of yours seen to much, and when you glance into them
Their pleading for everything to stop, to just stop
Just for a second, just long enough for her to get the one thing she’s been searching for
Which is love
She has sacrificed herself to many times that now she’s exhausted of giving hers away
Demanding they claim her to be that they can’t complete her requests
They never understood that all ever needed is
To have someone just love her, not the common way others have
She’s been loved in all the wrong ways
Her body used and abused for the pleasure of others
Her mind forever curious and seeking answers to questions that everyone has long forgotten
Never satisfied always with thirst for more, with a throbbing heart that isn’t completely hers or there
Behind that robust chest of hers lies a big heart that doesn’t beat
Its there but with no meaning to serve
She breathes just to breathe no reason other than it’s a necessity
Exhaling the impurities of her body
Inhaling the sins of others
And her breathing process is fading in the background as she escapes from this
So where did that lovely girl hide?
Because we all know she’s somewhere lost
And it would be a pity to lose something inside all of us
That little something called hope.
-Palaguachi