Black Friday

Woke up around 5:45 and I went to sleep around 1 because I was on the phone with Jonathan not that I mind but that boy has impecable timing I swear.

Anywho struggling to move around my room that's a mess -__- I made my way to find clothes and got ready. My sister and I made so much racket that my mother woke up and just looked at us and said WHY? I felt like laughing and I think I did, my sister is the shopaholic and a cheapass. Black Friday is like Jesus comming to visit for Christians. She was estactic about it and I don't blame her. I had a wishlist I wanted to come true today. This wishlist is the materialistic stuff I want.

1. Headphones.

I've been without earphones for maybe about 2 months because I go through them like water so I've decided to put an investment in headphones. I've been awfully sad without them as well, but I'm estatic that I have them now :]

2. Jacket.
I just want one.
3. Bookbag
I have this Northface strap bookbag and it's great but it's way to small to hold all the things my teachers give me.
4. Traditional and Digital Camera
I love photography and I'm tired of my sister's camera that sucks ass -___-
5. Mixtape or CD
This I just want from someone, shit even a stranger. I don't know but I think if you do anything for anyone there is a romantic connotation on it.



I don't really ask for much.




I got 2 out of these five things. The most important one Headphones! I bought them at BestBuy and I saw my ex lover Harold. I was not expecting that what so ever. Kinda of shy and awkard we said hi and my mother loved him and hoped we would work out so she left us alone to talk. He was covering his face half of the time, but he was still handsome as always despite what he was wearing. I was like GR! I had this mark on my face and I was way to sleepy to really function. The whole time I'm like great he gets to see me like this -___-



So much was going through my mind, I wanted to ask why did we stop being together? I needed to know but BestBuy didn't seem like the place to ask. I was full of this weird feeling, like I just wanted to touch him and see if my hand would go through. It seems so unreal, I haven't seen him since the end of September or was it the beginning of October. I don't remember, but it's been a while. We've had a few conversations that felt me confused on where we stand but the distance between us was still growing till we just didn't talk to each other anymore. I was sad for a while, resorted to another to get over you and it did help. I will admit to missing the little things you did. The affection in your words were the first of its kind to my ears. I remember you fondly and despite how we ended things so abruptly with no real explanation that I believe.



After this BestBuy incident my mother keep nagging me about him. Saying I should call him, that I should invite him over like I used to... That I should do this and that to get him back. Skeptical while she was saying all this nonsense. I don't do that, if you want to leave by all means I won't stand in your way. There are reasons why people feel like they should leave, and I'm in no right to make anyone stay if they don't want to. I can ask you to stay but if you don't, I'll wish you the best and move on and let you live. I have never been a clinger. I laughed in my mothers remark about how to keep a man and how they want you to chase them. I don't disagree completely about the chase, who doesn't like the chase? That is what I live for and maybe that explains why I get distant.

We later went to QCM and shopped around saw my Edward Cullen look alike. So after seeing Twilight there is a scene in the movie when Edward takes Bella to prom. Given that I'm a senior now, I'll be going to prom and I joked about taking an Edward look alike to prom. My 2nd wife Dominique agreed completely with me and told her boyfriend John. John apparently knows an Edward look alike that goes to his school. I was joking and said you should introduce wink wink ;] He took it seriously and then I was actually taking it into consideration and I was like why not? I'll probably play nice with the fellow, and so John has been talking to the Edward look alike about me and vice versa about him. So I saw him in Pac Sun, I wanted to walk out of the store immediately after I realized that he was there, but my sister had other plans. She wanted to see who was this guy, I wanting to hide in a corner. I looked so tired, my eyes were puffy I was in no conditions to meet someone. Not that I need to impress the fellow, but I was not going to meet someone in the mood I was. But dragged by my younger sister, we walked past him and she's like OMG his cute. I'm like no need for that I have eyes you know. I realize that, sheesh. I told John that I saw him, and John told him I saw him. I was like GR John! But it's whatever, John is planning to introduce me when I go to their winter concert. So we'll see how that goes.



I spent all morning shopping till night time when I went to Dominique's house to go help her get ready to go to the underground band gig Brandon (her friend) is performing in. I was ready by the time she told me to be, we were suppose to be there at 9:30 we left at that time. It was around Grand Central, Brandon words "it's a hole in the wall". We had to pay 10 bucks and I got an X marked on my hand. We go there late but we only missed two songs, it was around 10 something when we got there. Brandon's band wasn't bad at all, his facial expressions were hilarious. He was so into the music, I couldn't help but be idk but it was a vibe. The place where it was held wasn't my scene not that I have one, but if I did I know it wouldn't be that one. We were the only minorities there, and we didn't dress like they did. You could tell we didn't belong here, but I didn't care I loved the throbbing speakers, the noise was so hyptonizing. I honestly felt like the music flowed in and out of me. It attached itself to my skin. The scretching voices of the singers and the slamming of drum sticks were all around me. Never had I felt so intune with the music. Maybe it was because I by myself for a while, I was really absorbing the music, and the fact it wasn't my scene. The disturbing background maybe made things seem so surreal. Maybe the glances made me much aware. There was so much passion radiating from the stage and I couldn't help but be transfixed. I imagined myself being there, how would it be. I don't really sing, but when I want to I can actually pull off a good note or two. I just wanted to feel what was so present in the eyes of those on stage. I miss the stage. It was nice to be in a surrounding that was so different from my own, that it was uncomfortable it was just so new for me. I thought it was a perfect way to spend the night before my birthday. To spend it in a place that was completely different from my comfort zone, that the age of seventeen would bring a transistion to who knows but somewhere I don't know.

I had a great time, spent the first hour of my birthday around Grand Centeral. Took pictures, jumped on people, it was priceless.

Happy Thanksgiving.

This year was better than any, mostly because I didn't have many people over my house. Over the pass years my mother and my aunts are chained to the kitchen. They work overtime to provide food on the table of 20 at the most. It's usually the case that my house is the place to go to eat for the holidays. But this time it was a quiet, limited only to my sister, mother, father, aunt, cousin, and second cousin.

I woke up around 11. Barely peeling myself off my bed there was so much chaos in my house. The women were running around trying to finish cooking. I stay out of their way, I stay on the opposite side of the kitchen. I finally look presentable around 1 and I'm ready to eat something.

My family doesn't wait to eat around 6 or 7 we eat early around 1-3 pm and keep eating throughout the day. We have one meal that we share together at the table and then we're our seperate ways after that. We're not glued to the chair like others. My family also doesn't say grace. The sitting of the table means. This tradition is a way my parents and other family members simulate with American culture. In Ecuador there is no such holiday, my family just uses this as an excuse to eat and gossip at the table. I probably gained 10 pounds that day. My momma's cooking is the BOMB! I doubt anyone says that anymore but I do ha!

But today really raised questions in me. The whole point of this holiday is to acknowledge what one should be thankful for and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH! I get it sheesh, I just don't understand why you need a holiday to remind yourself to do this.

It should be every single morning and night, that you should be thankful for being here. That you can breathe with ease... I personally think to much but I think about how I don't have it bad what so ever. I'm very priviledged compared to others, perhaps to rich celebrities I'm not but to someone who lives in a third world country I'm probably the rich one for them. It is all interpetation that's what I say.

I just want to say I'm thankful for everything that has happened, will happen, hasn't happened, should've, could've... for the people in and out of my life and all that good stuff because it eventually develops me.

Miss Palaguachi

My alarm pierced my ears at 6 AM but I hit the snooze and woke up around 6:45 so I was running late already. I felt so tired for some reason maybe because I wasn't in the best of moods the night before.





On my way to the 7 train, I always pass this supermarket and there are always men unloaded all sorts of food into the supermarket. They usually mumble something under their breaths when I pass by, I try not to take notice. However today they were extremely out of line, getting close enough to whisper into my ear things like "Que nina mas linda, mi cosa tan rica, yo te lo doy como tu quieres, las cosas que te haria" I just looked very disgusted and I was. You would think age would matter, I wanted to scream at each single one of them I'm just 16! I could be your daughter! But I didn't I just walked away frusrated and disappointed that men of their age act like that.





The E train was being extremely slow this morning, not sure why but I didn't mind. It gave me time to daydream about my little dreams.





0 Period -A.P. Calculus Seminar


1 Period - A.P. Calculus


2 Period- A.P. Literature


3 Period- A.P. Government and Politics


4 Period- LUNCH


5 Period- A.P Physics C


6 Period- Internship


7 Period- PowerPoint


8 Period- Art


9 Period-A.P English Seminar





So I finally get to my school, and I missed most of A.P. Calculus Seminar but we had A.P. Cal next period so it gave me time to catch up. I got another 6 out 7 TODAY! on my Chain Rule Quiz and the quorum needed to move forward was met today :] I feel that I'm getting better at this whole math gig. Borthering Jeremy and Daniel during class was fun as usual, it's become a habit now.





I volunteered to act out a revised scene from Oedipus Rex to boost up my grade but that was last week and I forgot about it. My teacher however did not and made Juan, Manny, and I write a script and act it out for the coming Monday. We had to go to the library and pratice and what not, I couldn't keep a straight face I just kept busting into laughter. I work with Juan who has this really strong accent and his such a perfectionist so he was trying to remember a script I pulled out of my ass in 20 minutes. That was not going to happen but he was hopeful and Manny was just there to watch the spectacle of our struggling acting, he barely has lines. After "practicing" we go back to the classroom to find out we will perform on Monday (thank god) :]





I found out I'm on a list. A list that enables government to send out my information to any military service. Biedermann made a big deal about this, he gave a speech on how he doesn't think our government is fair to not let women be drafted, that we can't have gay soliders. The logic between those actions are suggesting subtle oppression that is hidden into my behavior, the government don't draft women, why because they don't think women should fight. Gay people cannot be part of the military, does your sexual orientation guide your shooting hand? But most of all what got to him was the fact that government is asking for some citizens for their information not all, and the one's they are asking for, their the ones who are trying to upgrade themselves, elevate themselves from their current life position. His personal opinion is that our government is fraught with problems, I would agree but I can't judge what I do not know. But after this course I will be sure to know where I stand.





Iesha came to school, I forgot to mention she was in A.P. English today :] I was so happy to see her, I felt like I haven't seen her in weeks. Her attendance hasn't been the greatest. She is my other lunch buddy, and today we went to the dinner and had ourselves a rub down your tummy kind of meal (yumm). We're talking about senior things, about Iesha, and my guys. Catching up on past news and just enjoying each other's company. I used to be closer to Iesha than Melissa, but now I feel like the roles have switched. Iesha seems so distant towards Melissa and I. I've always been the oddball of this trio of our's because unlike them I care to often and I'm too nice.





Melissa and I were late to Physics, but by a minute I think. Learning how to make formula's for all sorts of variables. I actually understood it, I just hope I can do the project on it -__-





During Internship I took that time to make up Cal h.w. I'm missing. I need to hand in some other handouts and finish my Derivative Gateway -__-





I finished my presentation for the Hokey Pokey, I gave it customized animation. This is my only business class, and it's so light, and today I felt like it was a special ed class there was only 5 kids. I talked to Dillon today in that class, I've known him since freshman and he wanted to get with me at one point, we used to say hi and bye but after freshman year I just stopped talking to most of the people I did. We had a brief nice conversation about the lack of students in the class and basketball. His on the varisty team and I know most of the guys on it, and I'm going to their first home game so I threatened and said the team better win and BLAH BLAH BLAH! It was nice to talk to him even though it was just a few minutes. After finishing my presentation I went on blogspot and went browsing throughout the blogs, read interesting things, it kept me distracted till the bell rung.





Ms. Tilley is so predictable, she asked the famous question "What are we grateful for?" The majority of the class responded with I'm grateful/thankful for my family and friends. I said I'm thankful for the my health and those of my loved ones. She was surprised I said that, and John had to take my lead and say I'm grateful for my education. I mouth SUCKUP! He was mouthed back HELL YEAH! I was smiling to myself. But she started pointing out all the things we should be thankful for and what not. I admit I'm ungrateful because I have so much and yet I'm never satisfied. I have good health, both parents, good friends, good grades, good neighborhood, and I'm not sad. I'm not missing an arm or leg, my mother didn't die, I'm not anti social, I'm not flunking out of h.s., I don't live in a place where I hear gunshots, and I don't have the impulse to kill myself. All these thoughts I kept to myself because I don't want to share what people won't understand.





AFTERSCHOOL





On the way home from Seminar, I'm taking the bus and I see Gerado this guy who probably still is madly in love with my ex friend Andrea. I've thought of her in the past days, whenever I take the E train or when I pass Lexington Ave she popps into my mind. I miss her sometimes. I think back to our pointless fight. I was never a good friend to her. I wish I could say sorry but I doubt it will do any good. I think the fact I'm not a part of her life anymore probably might've done her some good. I personally felt like I wasn't a good friend towards her, other's would argue that but I know I should've been I don't know but more there for her even though I was. I feel like I let her down by that stupid argument we had. It's funny how this guy reminded me so much of past person I was. But then I was distracted by texts from an unlikely person. Those previous thoughts made me feel remorse and guilt and then when I see this text from Dizzy, I felt calm again.





Dizzy: I miss my heartbeat, watsup? (HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY)





Dizzy is my proclaimed bestfriend. I titled him that myself and I don't have best friends really. But I'm glad to say he is, we've shared quite alot even though we don't see each other as much as I would want to -___- That's the one thing I hate about our relationship, he lives so far away from me. I was suppose to see him last friday and saturday. I didn't get to see at all -__- Friday I went to see Twilight and he was suppose to come with me, but his ride started drinking and I refuse to have anything happen to him (I already had a mini confrontation with Jonathan about this ^_^). Saturday was dedicated to soothing Dominique's nerves over the mini break up she had with the love of her life John. This isn't the first time I flip or he flips, we just have bad timing with each other -___- that's our history. But I refuse to not spend my birthday without him. The one guy I say I love you to and mean it. The one guy who has my heart and didn't ask for it, I just handed it over no questions asked for safe keeping.





HOME





Aunt is screaming at me for not having my keys and making her open the door. All I hear is BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH! I go into my room to find it a mess, I start cleaning and listening to music. My sister texts me to know if I want pizza because my aunt is cooking soup and I'm not going to eat water so yeah. We sneak in the pizza, we're eating it and we have some sister bonding time. She's telling me about her day and what not. The conversations she has with people and all that good stuff. Telling about how some guy wants to be her best friend, and she's like I don't have those. I can be your best friend, but you can not be mine. The one person that comes close to it is my sister and she has known me all my life. He asked her does she trust people and she's like that she trust no one, maybe an exception for me her only sister. I then ask her "Do you trust me?" and she responds with "It's not that I don't trust you, but you just know me better than anyone, and I don't have much to entrust to others." Then we were talking about why she doesn't confide in other because of stupid middle school situations. We continued like this until I got a phone call by the twins which is David and Andres, Brandon was also with them, their the three muskerters. My three football players I've known since childhood. I call them my groupies because they always want to be around my sister and I. Mostly me because I can actually endure their immaturity and I give them good conversation. All three guys are younger than me and sure act like it, but their really good kids. I adore them. I've shared alot with the twins, Andres was my first kiss. An aww moment indeed.

So they came over and stuff, my mother doesn't mind the twins company because keep down inside she hopes I'll marry one of them one day, she really likes them. Brandon on the other hand is a different story, my mother is racist and Brandon looks mixed puertorican and black but his just puertorican and my mother isn't fond of that race. But anywho he still comes over and we're all hanging out in my room. I'm on the computer, the guys are on my bed and my sister is sitting on the floor and we're just talking about god knows what. The details of the converstation flee from me... All I remember is laughing, I'm always laughing with these fellows maybe that's why I can stand the fact their immature at times. With no effort these guys can make me roll on the floor, and its over corny shit to. They stayed till 12 and then my dad came home. They got scared and left. I laughed at their punk asses.

But it was nice to have them over, we usually become close in the summer it was weird that we're still close when the seasons changed. But nonetheless I enjoy their company even though it can be very very irrating at times.

But that was my day well what I can remember because I'm finishing writing on the 1st of December.

Dear Gabriela

I was tossing and turning before my alarm went off which was at 6 AM and I wasn't tired either. I felt energized and happy which is weird because I'm usually still a zombie dumping into walls and covering myself from the light (such a vampire). But this morning was different, I felt a sense of happiness out of no where. Nothing ruined my morning not the fact that I got my period or that it was raining (I love the rain and I don't PMS like normal girls). I left my house listening to the sound of rain pouring over my umbrella. I rarely use umbrella's I hate them, their just a hassle and I lose them all the time -__- As I'm walking to the 7 train, I'm stepping into puddles and I don't mind, I felt like a kid again for that 5 minute walk. I don't have my IPOD due to my destruction of headphones so the rain was my music this morning. The constant beating against my plastic umbrella, the splashes my feet made whenever I stepped into a puddle. I was taking notice of everything, each small detail today.

On the train platform I saw my former dance classmate of sorts Tanya and we always catch up for the next 2 train rides. She's younger than me but we were both anger at one point and we just share stories. I always enjoy her company, she's a good kid.

0 Period -A.P. English Seminar
1 Period - A.P. Calculus
2 Period- A.P. Literature
3 Period- A.P. Government and Politics
4 Period- LUNCH
5 Period- A.P Physics C
6 Period- Gym
7 Period- PowerPoint
8 Period- Art
9 Period-A.P Calculus Seminar

So I'm entering my school at around 7:45 and the Program Office where I hang out and where two of my most important teachers reside in are. I forgot to finish my A.P. English research outline, structure isn't my forte. So I was going to use the extra minutes I had to try to finish one but I failed.

I went late to A.P. English because I wanted to spare myself time but that didn't work so I just ended up going and the class was discussing Oedipus Rex and Medea. Themes that correlate with these Greek tragedies, such as "Hubris is the demise of the characters" or "Is fate in our control?" It was mostly questions that these tragedies arise in one. I love this part of class, but it was to early in the morning and I just felt like so light that I didn't want to try much.

THE FIRST TIME EVER! I got a 6 out of 7 on a Gateway Quiz WOOT WOOT!! But then I got a bit upset the day I get 6 out of 7 the class decides to do BLAH! -__- SMH!! Oh it was Daniel's Birthday today so Melissa and I said HAPPY BIRTHDAY! during that class period, the nice act didn't last long. We're always smartasses to each other, its the beauty of it.

Ms. Patel didn't ask for the outline and she gave back my college essay with a bunch of scribble scrabble. We had an in-class essay to do, I personally felt like I actually did great on this one. I usually don't finish because I don't know what to write, it takes me a while to write the introduction and then after that I have several moments of writer's block so I lose time on pointless crap. But today I wrote 2 pages front and back and I finished before time so I was able to go back and re-read and put in more points and what not. I hope I did good on it :]

So we're having an in-class campaign simulation. We're currently learning about the whole nominee processes so in order to fulfully understand our teacher is having us hold campaigns within our class. I'm in the Republican party and I represent the state of Idaho (chosen for me) and there are two types of campaigns. One within the party to elect the party representative and the other is between the party representatives. So Bryan from the Republican side won and John from the Democratic side won. Both cool cats :] Biedermann is trying to work us for the small vacation we have by giving us 3 chapter outline packets to do -__-

Lunch was with Mommy Melissa and we were talking about my blog of the other day. She was laughing at me as usually. I really can't recall the conversation which is a shame -__-

I did not fall asleep today in Physics WOOT ! I actually understood what was going on. I was being extra mean to Jeremy and Daniel, told them to jump off a cliff :]

Gym was hilarious like always. I was with Shanique and we're talking about how childish I am and how most of the people in here look at me like I'm a weirdo which I'm totally okay with. Shanique is part of Epic Theatre so I was helping her rehearse and I was being just an asshole by acting out the part of a sterotype actor. With all this exaggerated gestures and screaming then softly speaking lines. Trying to mock when someone cries on cue, I was just acting silly. Oh and I did 12 girl push ups to me YAY!

I'm doing a presentation on the Hokey Pokey, I really like that song when I thought about it. Don't ask me why. I did not choose the theme of this presentation which is nursery ryhmes. I just do what is asked of me. But I was laughing at what people were choosing and their comments like Ba Ba Black Sheep is a racist nursery rhyme. That had me rolling :]

I got back my sketch book from my art teacher which is great because I miss drawing in it ever since she collected it for no reason. So I got it back and I just started drawing random stuff like a wine glass tipping over, an engagement ring. Clouds surrounding a full moon. I was relaxed while I was randoming drawing for that class period.

AFTERSCHOOL

I went to Ms.Patel to get more feedback on my college essay. She thought it was a good start and gave me more structure and suggestions. After that I went to A.P. Calculus Seminar and learned more derivatives YIPEE! I understood it I just hope I incorporate it on paper. After Seminar, Melissa and I were chilling in the Program Office. She's doing the 2934872394 rewrite of her college essay, and I'm just beginning to revise mine. I had to take two Gateway Quizes for derivaties and I got 5 out 7 on one I was so upset -__- Anywho we just stayed theretill around 6 something and found out that Cortney is my soulmate <3 She loves to cook so that is enough for me. She can fatten me up anytime :]

I treat Cortney to a bag of chips and I buy myself a snicker bar and walk in opposite directions of her and Alondra. I pray that Alondra doesn't push Cortney into the tracks because there goes my wonderful new found cook :] So I take the E on Spring Street and I forget this is rush hour -___- I manage to find a seat next to this really big guy who squished me against the bar of the corner seat. I was like whatever, I don't know why but once I entered into the train I felt my bubblyness (if that is a word) fade. This beautiful white blue eyed faired skin woman is standing in front of me. Starring at me, with wonder and I look back with eyes that are blank, there is no challenge or hostility in my gaze. I simply stare back and turn away. I found her beautiful for some reason, and she found me rather intriguing because she didn't stop looking at me, gave me expressions of trying to figure me out. If I were to see myself on the train I would just see myself as someone bored on the train and that was what I was. But she looked at me as if I don't know, but I didn't mind. She then left and I fell asleep for a few stops or so.

It wasn't until I was getting out of the train well being pushed out by all the people wanting to get out, did some guy touch me -__- GREAT that's what I needed... sigh* After that I just had a serious look which translate into a sad face for many who see me. To lazy to catch the other train I took the bus and I found a seat and I was comfortable until this elderly woman soft spoken starts giving me a speech, rationalizing, giving excuses for why I should give her my seat. I wouldn't mind giving it to her, but she had the audasity to come to me, out of all the people who were sitting down and were closer to her, she came to me. Frusrated by the man who touched me, and the fact that the woman came to me, I respectfully said I understand and I got up and I sucked my teeth because I didn't realize how tired I was until I needed force to get back up.

I finally got to my doorstep and as my mother opens the door the questions come out. Asking where am I coming from? Are you sure you were in school? Look at me when your talking? Are you lying? You would think a mother would have trust in their child who is a nerd and does nothing but try to please her -___- NO! that simply rises more questions. I go inside say hi to family members I don't understand or care to. Going inside my room I put on music and then my sister and 1st wife come in. I'm on the computer and I want to write about my day so far. Donna (only younger sister) needs the computer to do her A.P Spanish Essay. I didn't mean to give a calm attitude but my sister always gives attitude back with much more and I wasn't in the mood so I just respond calmly like before there is no need for the attitude and she always gets defensive so I just walk away.

I know when to pick my battles and I was exhausted that I didn't want to deal with her stupid tension. I go into my mother's room and just stay there for a while, I lock the door and I'm just thinking as I'm looking into the mirror. What do people see in me? Because right now I see a fragile young lady. My eyes look so tired and worn out, as if I've been high all day. I look pale and sickly. I was like why do I look so sad right now? I was happy just a few hours ago, is being happy that exhausting, am I out of pratice that I can't hold it for an entire day? I want to analyze myself further but my mother interrupts my thoughts when she tries to get into the room. I open the door for her and she looks at me and says "You look like your guilty of something" and this is when my frusration takes over and I respond with hoslitity NO. This triggered so many thoughts, for instance "Why can't I have an off day without being questioned for doing something wrong" "Why is it that when it comes to be I have to be happy for everyone else's sake" and what hurt me the most right then was the question "Why do you doubt me so much?" I felt like crying before she came in the room but because I felt overwhelmed, and I needed some type of release. But I can't cry for my sake that easily, my mother is the only one without any effort who can provoke such reactions from me -___- I leave the room because I can't stand being with her at the moment I go to the bathroom and this is when I feel more safer, I feel my eyes water but then they clear and I'm okay again.

I go back to my room to find my wife has bought herself the new IPOD and she needed my Itunes and good converstaion. Jenny my wife and childhood friend usually goes through to much shit with guys. I love her dearly but whenever she comes over, we talk about the current situation she's going through which is never a good one. I don't understand why people like her get hurt, when she doesn't deserve it -__- She's to much of a good person to be shitted on constantly by these "bad guys". I've never been in fall nor do I want to be. And she's one of many prime examples of why I don't want to be. I've wiped her tears so many times, that I know the game that her guys played from left to right. I didn't need to be in love to see the hurt it causes. I remember the constant nights she would vent out everything and I would comfort her to the best of my ability. And I reminded myself I would never want to be in her shoes and I haven't. So today, after two months of the break up with the love of her life, it still makes her cry. She's telling me the bullshit his feeding her and it's hurting her. And I can't stand to see her this way. We're laying down on my bed, her legs over mine and she's crying and telling me with just emotion in her voice I couldn't help but be moved by her vivid pain. We stay like this for a while, laying next to each other and just being there for her. She falls asleep and I let her for a half and hour then she leaves.

I then help my mother pay her bills online.

Then I finally have time to write on my blog. Then I get a text from Jonathan and this is all it takes to make my seldom mood turn to a more lighter mood.

Jonathan: Imy! =/

This alone brought a grin to my sad face. We're still texting each other :]

Sincerely yours,

Katherine

P.S. Forgive any misspelling/grammer mistakes, if I forgot any details I'll fill it in some other time, I was just jolting things down.

Dear Katherine

Dedicating this somewhat detailed report of my day to myself. I've decided to write about my days till I reach my birthday which is on Saturday the 29th.


Today I woke up late compared to the time I usually do. Which around 6 Am to leave my house around 6:50-7:00 to be in school by 7:30. I woke up at 7 AM which wasn't a problem because I got an extra hour to sleep. I needed to be in school by 8:40 so I still had time. Your probably wondering why the hell would I wake up at 6 if I needed to be in school by 8:40. Well I have 0 Period Tuesday- Friday which start at 8:00. And sometimes that extra 30 minutes gives me time to do h.w. I forgot to do.

Since I was running on time I took the train with my mother which I NEVER do. But nonetheless I enjoy the time we spend now together, even though that wasn't always the case. For example I found it adorable how she can still be an overbearing protective mother in a train station. She kept me behind the yellow line, kept telling me not to go to close to the edge if only she knew I live bending over the edge. The trains were running funky I was late for first period by like 2 minutes which didn't borther me or my teacher because we understand each other. My normal schedule is hectic so my school day schedule looks something like this


0 Period -
1 Period - A.P. Calculus
2 Period- A.P. Literature
3 Period- A.P. Government and Politics
4 Period- LUNCH
5 Period- A.P Physics C
6 Period- Internship
7 Period- PowerPoint
8 Period- Art
9 Period-

I love Mondays for the simply fact I don't have to wake up early or stay late in school :]
I forgot to finish my Cal. H.W well let's say I forgot to flip on the backside of the worksheet
I forgot I had my research paper outline due although I handed in my Austen Essay and my College Essay
I forgot to find out the Republican delegates sent to the National Convention

Lunch was Mommy Melissa and Gabby time. We spend the whole 45 minutes discussin our weekend, our crazy flashbacks. And we never get tired of each other and we have the same schedule. Together since freshman year, amazing how much I enjoy her company. Anywho during lunch I found the perfect analogy for Jonathan (will explain him later on because he deserves his own seperate blog entry). His my personalized brand of heroin <3

I almost fell asleep in Physics and my Mommy Melissa (I just call her that for personal reasons) got bitch slapped during that class by Daniel. That definately had me rolling.

Internship is a free period to just talk with my other A.P Classmates. We're talking about prom and last years prom and stuff. Which reminds me I need to find myself I need to find a prom date. I'll probably leave this to last moment
-__-

PowerPoint is my stupid people class, it's like a special ED class. The class attendance is so weak, and the presentations or topics are boring. I don't struggle what so ever, I breeze through this and the teacher likes me because I don't disrespect her, I just go in and do my work. I'm not trying to engage in anything else, I just want to get out of Chelsea.

Finally Art used to be the class I felt like I was in kindergarden again, but that has changed since my teacher's supervisior is caring about students. Now he requires Literature to be incorporated into our Art class. So my teacher makes us read excerpts of god knows what boring shit to draw a picture. I'm not an artist but I can draw fair enough for you to recognize what I've drawned.

AFTERSCHOOL

I took the train with Manny, this guy who everyone picks on out of love. Even though I do feel sorry for him because he does not defend himself and when he tries he gets cut by a scissor in Art class SMH*
His my live entertainment on my way home since I don't have headphones for my IPOD -___-
I've gotten used to it but I do miss my music and just blocking out people but Manny does well in keeping me entertained. I have a feeling he has a crush on me, which would suck because I wouldn't want to let him down. His really a cool kid :]

Anyways after I left him at 42nd to get to the N train to go to Astoria to go to the doctor to get my second dose of the HPV shot. Jonathan keep me company on the phone while I was waiting in the waiting room with all these minature people (children) roaming around. I grew YES! My dream is to be 5' 7" and I'm 5' 5" now :]

I actually used to be afraid of needles but then something happened in my childhood which I can't really recall but ever since then I don't mind the doctor or the dentist. Weird I know. This metrosexual nurse or gay nurse puntured my arm, and I tried not to wince and he was like "Oh aren't you a brave, usually girls tear or something..." I just looked at him and said "Thank you... (with a confused face)" I'm not sure if that was a backhanded compliment like what are you trying to say about girls that we're whinny and not "strong" enough to take a vaccine? I felt like a feminist while all this was going through my mind. Finally I left and my left shoulder was numb and I called Jonathan to tell them they hurt me -__- He was just laughing at me that asshole but I would to if someone was to call me to tell me that. On the train I go underground and forget and I look like a retard talking into the phone when we got disconnected -__- Then we were just texting back and worth.

THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY (other than Jonathan)

My second wife Dominique Ashley Sarah Fils-Aime. If I got the middle names confused don't shoot me -__-
Dominique came over to my house. I saw her this past Saturday too, two times in a month who's funeral?
She lives a block away from me and her school is two blocks away from mine, and even then we rarely see each other anymore. School and boys keep us away well mostly her, I could give two fucks about that.
She came by to pick up all the stuff I hijacked from her house like books and dvds and her savings are stashed under my bed but she doesn't know that :]

So she came over and she suggested we do Latino Sandwiches which is a throwback term. We made some sandwiches out of the scraps of food that my frig. had. And it didn't come out to shabby so ever since then we call it that. While making a revised version because my frig. isn't loaded like it used to be -___- We talked about twilight and made fun of Kristen Stewart and her acting. Her inmitations were priceless, I was ROFL!!! She had to bring up the most random yet serious question ever. If you had to choose between your husband/wife and child to live who would you chose? And she's like that she couldn't that she'll kill herself, I'm like thats not an option. She starts laughing at me, but I was serious, then I responded I would kill my husband I would eventually anyways I'm just quickening the process and her face was shocked. Jaw dropping much? I simply said hey I could find myself a new one. That had my sister and her were dying. But her question really got to me, what if my husband was the love of my life, would I choose my maternal love over true love? My sister interrupted this thought when she asked how old the child would be? Dominique started pointing fingers and screaming BABY KILLER! How can you even ask? Were you even considering it? And even though that's not a funny statement, her facial expression and her reaction just kept us gasping for air. This is all occuring in the kitchen, whenever Dominique comes over the Kitchen is the place where all the laughs are cooked up :] We finally came to the conclusion that if it's a baby, we would kill it and just make a new one. But if it's a teenager or older we would choose the child over the husband and find ourselves someone new. Now it's time to walk my monster babies which are my poodles so they can do their business outside and take Dominique home.

So now I'm just writing my day, and how it went and looking back on it, it wasn't routine how I usually think of it.
Didn't realize all the things I did and did not do today.

If you actually read it, I'm flattered you actually took interest long enough to read this :]

Fondly yours,
Gabriela

P.S. My grammer sucks so bear with me. I needed to jot everything down before I forgot the details.

Twilight.

I watched it the day it came out, and while I was waiting on the line to get my ticket. People of all ages, races, backgrounds came to see this. Some haven't even read the book, but the hype around this brought enough people to sell out several time shows. Doesn't surprise me that people are such loyal followers to the media.

I personally liked the books. The movie however is another story, if you haven't read the books you'd like the movie but if you have read the books you'd be disappointed.

Main reason why I stayed 2 hours in a seat was because of the attractive MALE actors. I felt Kristen Stewart her acting was a bit overdone. She never smiled, and the hospital scene was way over dramatic for anyone's taste. I felt that Alexis Bebel would've been a better Bella Swan. There were crucial scenes missing that were in the book but not in the movie. For example, the Lab that required blood and that maded Bella sick and Edward decided to ditch class. Bella also emailed her mother, she hardly called her in the first book. And also Bella did not find out about Edward by reading a book and Googling. Jacaob told her on the beach, when she went to La Push. The movie just missed things like the discussion they had.

The movie did not match up to what the book was.

Junior writing.

Literature belongs to the world man constructs, not to the
world he sees; to his home, not his environment.

- Northrop Frye

The quote means to me that literature is not restricted to any place or anyone.

"The world man constructs" and "the world he see's" are different concepts. The world man constructs is what man creates for himself to indulge in, it is not reality or the turh of how the world really is. "The world he sees" is the perspective in which a person analyzes life in.

"The world man constructs" and "the world he sees" both require the person to interpet the world differently, as well as build it and see it as what it is.

Who's the next President?

It's amazing how uninformed Americans are about the process of electing a president -__-Obama has won the popular vote he has not YET won the electoral college vote.

The difference between these votes are essential to understand how our government works. The popular vote is the people's vote. The electoral college vote determines who becomes president. The popular vote helps the electoral college know what the people want.

The electoral college votes December 15, 2008 and the votes are read January 6, 2009 by Congress.Then the president is inaugrated January 20, 2009.

This has not yet happened, so Obama is not president yet. He most likely will be however the electoral college has gone against what the people wanted before. Four times to be exact. It makes you think will this be the fifth time?